Who Are You?
Who you are is more than just your name, where you come from, and what you do. Who you are is the essence and the core of your existence. You may say, “I know me, so of course, I know who I am!” However, if you examine the question, Who am I?, few questions appear so simplistic but are actually intensely complex.
So Who Am I?
Most of us spend our lives trying to fit in or to be accepted, even to the point that we pretend to be someone or something that we're not. I call this condition "chameleon tendencies," and it can lead to an identity crisis.
It's not entirely our fault. This condition can be caused by past hurts, how we grew up, how we processed the negative opinions of others, or what negative things we believe about ourselves or life in general.
Narrow Your Focus to Find Out Who You Are.
I'm not judging you. I just want you to know that I understand because I used to hate myself and my life. But on the outside, I was a chameleon! I acted like I was tough and together in every aspect of my life. Nothing was further from the truth. I was an emotional wreck.
A little background on what caused my identity crisis. I grew up in the deep South—born to uneducated black parents. So, we didn't have very much. We were what Southern people called “dirt poor.” I was sexually abused, and I would dare say that I was a modern day “almost” slave. In the early 90s, I worked in the cotton fields for very little pay—so little that it was barely enough to help my father purchase a few clothing items for me for the new school year. I was involved in a teen domestic violence relationship, and I became a teenage parent right after my senior year of high school. I've had a colorful and eventful past...no different than many of you.
With all of this baggage, I never felt comfortable being me, I didn't feel worthy, valued, or loved. I definitely didn't feel seen. Because I didn’t have an identity that I was proud of, I used my chameleon powers to blend in and be whoever or whatever I needed to be in order to be accepted. My chameleon powers worked for many years, probably well into my late 20s and early 30s. This time in my life was full of additional challenges and joys. I gave birth to two more children, and I was headed into my second marriage.
I loved my children and husband, but it took years for me to realize that I didn’t have joy. I didn’t love myself, and I didn’t really know who I was or why I was even here. Why did I exist? But I did know that there had to be something better on the other side of this pain.
During this dark time in my life, I knew enough to get back to basics. I started reading my bible more and meditating on the word of God and I was reminded of who I was in Him…my God identity. This identity was way better than the chameleon one. Through it, I learned that I was worthy of love and acceptance and that I didn’t need to pretend to be anyone other than who God created me to be. My transformation did not happen overnight, but I was committed to doing the self-work to become a better version of myself.
Time to Journal. . .
Have you had a “chameleon identity”? If so, why? What was it?
What is your “God identity”? How did it develop (if you have one)? If you don’t have a “God identity,” would you like to develop one? Why?
If we are made in the image of God, then we should be identified as He is identified...I AM!
What are 5 words that describe who you are right now? Note: Some of these words may be negative words. That’s okay. You need to see yourself in writing.
What are 5 more words that you wish described who you are?
Now that you have 10 words (again, some of them could be negative), what are the 7 most powerful words that you would like to have describe yourself? Make these 7 words into your “I Am” statement. I am. . .